“Why are you writing that? I wasn’t using humor or sarcasm.”

I don’t know, Gary.

Sometimes my sarcasm
leaks out
accidentally

oops.

Would you understand if I explained it to you,
slowly?

Your week
Remember you confirmed your
“start time is 10:20” on Monday?
I guess to make sure you
clocked in
for your shift
of parenting

Maybe I should get you a time card

But then something came up. I’m shocked!
You need me to take the kids tomorrow 9 am to 10 pm

A long day for you, I texted.
I’m an empath.
I made my schedule work –
Happy to get to see my kids
why don’t they just sleep here that night? I asked (Or every night, I said. To myself.)

And now I’m randomly finding out you are actually dropping them off at 7:30 am

Okay. But weird.

I’m putting this together – I’m back to being sherlock. I get it now – you need a longer day with your girlfriend. You can even sleep over now.

Wow, I text.
They’ll be zombies
waking up so early tomorrow morning

“I do have to hit the road as early as possible” you say. No hint of irony in your words.

I text without really thinking
LOL. Okee dokee, Gary

“Why are you writing that? I wasn’t using humor or sarcasm.”

Use your imagination.

I’ll clock you out.