There’s a children’s book titled with the two main characters’ names. It’s a cute book, actually.

It’s just that the characters’ names are what you called me and you.

For decades.

So, healing is weird.

I’m fine, and then I look up an author’s name to get ready for an event and… There we are.

The book is startling, a picture of cartoon us, if we were fruits, and it makes me pause. I remember how there was a time, not so long ago, when I thought maybe we’d work together in a studio. I’d write and you’d illustrate. It was a wish, a hope, a little life dream.

Basically this book I’m looking at on my screen is the book we write together. In a different timeline.

In that timeline, your drafting table is in the corner, and your artwork is on the wall. I love to watch you draw. It’s like magic. I remember falling in love with you, your hands holding a pen, sketching. I’ve been watching you do art for decades.

I’m on the other side of the room, my wall full of index cards mapping out a story.

I bet we are joking around. In this timeline, you didn’t lose your sense of humor.

Yet.

I’d say there’s music playing, and maybe there is, but you aren’t as much of a fan of playing music. You’d rather sing.

So I guess you are singing, most likely show tunes. In this timeline you didn’t sleep with the kids’ musical theater teacher and ruin musicals for all of us.

I ask if you could be a little quieter, I’m trying to concentrate.

Or maybe I try to sing along and I match your key for a moment. I’m proud but then you start to harmonize which really screws me up. Of course, you try to teach me to sing, coach me. Honestly, I’m annoyed about how you make me feel like I can’t sing, in my own house.

I never said this other timeline was fantastic.

Life is bananas, probably in any timeline.

Did you know that in third grade I used to sing as I walked down the hall? Like in real life, this very timeline, decades ago.

Singing was one of my favorite things.

But then it wasn’t.

Wow! This stuff writes itself.

That’s just like you: one of my favorite things, but then —