“How will you celebrate your divorce anniversary?” Someone asked in a divorce Facebook group.

It made me pause.

I guess that would depend. Like, which date do you celebrate?

Is it today – the date the paperwork was filed? Or maybe it’s in a couple weeks, the day I got the copies of the filed paperwork. Maybe the last meeting with both of the lawyers would be a good date to celebrate. Or would it be the first one?

I could maybe celebrate the meeting where I managed to stare right in your eyes above your covid mask the entire time. I poured my anger through my eyes, tried to convey vitriol. I like to think you got the message.

But, maybe celebrating isn’t the right word here. At least not for me.

Maybe it is for you. I don’t know.

Can we acknowledge instead of celebrate? Maybe I could acknowledge the anniversary of something. The date I called my lawyer. Maybe the date I decided to call her.

If I could remember, I think it would make sense to acknowledge the anniversary of our last conversation, our last hug, the last time you said my name.

A few months ago it was the anniversary of the date you told me you were having an affair with you know who.

“Heather.”

I won’t name her real name in this space, I wouldn’t dream of doing that any more than I would dream of singing her name on stage.

She doesn’t cross my mind much, so maybe soon I won’t even remember name anyway. Other than being unstable, and honestly having weirdly wrinkled ugly knees, she’s pretty forgettable, to tell you the truth.

But unfortunately, she’s part of the timeline when someone asks, “How will you celebrate your divorce anniversary?”

And my only answer is that there’s not much to celebrate.