I listened to you as you told me about your year-long affair with Heather. I believed you when you said you were sorry, that I was the only one for you, that you were back. I comforted you, and then I called the marriage counselor and made us an appointment.
I listened again as you told her about your affair, and then when you told her that you loved both of us – Heather and me.
I listened as you proposed an open marriage, as you told me you wanted to go in your own trajectory, and even when you said that your relationship with Heather was fun, you enjoyed it but didn’t enjoy our relationship.
I was silent when the therapist asked me if an open marriage was something I’d be open to.
I tried to understand when the therapist talked about the dark shadow path you were on, and how Heather was a spell weaver, another shadow on your path. I mean, I kind of agreed with her, even though it hurt when she talked about your energies aligning. Heather did weave a spell, and you were on a path.
“This is your hero’s journey,” the therapist kept telling you.
“He’s on a journey,” she said. “What’s your journey? What do YOU want?” she asked me.
I looked at both of you, as you both stared at me waiting.
“I want to be married. I like this life.” I explained.
You closed your eyes and shook your head, looking at me with condescension. It was the wrong answer, I guess.
“He’s on his hero’s journey.” The therapist repeated to me. “What can you do to support that journey?”
Therapy often ended with me sobbing, and you wondering why I didn’t want to sit and talk some more.
Until one day, therapy just ended.
“One day you might find yourself thanking Heather!” The therapist said to me.
“One day, you might want to talk to her and explain to her that what she did was wrong,” she continued, “She might not know.”
“Not know it is wrong to seduce someone who is married and brainwash them?” I said. Or maybe I just thought it.
Then the therapist told me about the time she dated her good friend’s ex.
“I didn’t know that she would be upset. She had to tell me. Maybe Heather could grow if you told her it wasn’t okay.”
I’m working on boundaries, but even I know it isn’t my responsibility to help Heather grow morals.
So, that was the day therapy ended.