The Gold Standard

It was pajama day on Wednesday, and I joked that my regular clothes were pretty close to pajamas anyway.

“My real pajamas are torn yoga pants I used to wear to work,” I explained to friends. “And maybe a really cozy sweatshirt over a soft t-shirt with holes.”

Then I realized that I did have “real” pajama pants and a “real” pajama shirt. So, that’s what I wore. So what if in the summer I wear that pajama top as a t-shirt. It still counts.

The next day was “Fancy day!” I was looking for fancy clothes when I remembered I had a pair of black pants that had a side split hem, making them a little extra fancy. With a nice (soft) shirt, a few pretty rings, and my rainbow sandals, I was ready to go on fancy day!

Then I realized that my fancy pants were basically the same as my normal work pants, just with a little extra flair.

As I threw on my jean jacket and walked out the door, I realized that this is probably one of the reasons that Heather was able to convince Gary that she was the gold standard of women.

I mean, my regular work clothes, pajamas, and my fancy clothes can all be mistaken for each other. Not exactly gold standard.

I mean, I wore satin pajamas to my senior prom with Gary. (In my defense, Sharon Stone had recently worn satin pajamas to some big event…) Not exactly gold standard.

I mean, I like taking off my bra and putting on sweats, or better yet, pajamas, as soon as possible after work. Not exactly gold standard.

I have never worn leather pants to school, or anywhere.
I have never bought a fluffy white sweater to try to look like Gary’s crush from high school.
I have never starved myself to be skinny.
I have never been skinny.

Not exactly gold standard.

At least I’m comfy.
At least I’m real.
At least I have rainbow sandals.

(Maybe I’ll just aim to be the rainbow standard!)

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