First Wife

I didn’t want to be your
first wife

practice wife
A life-
long love
disposed of
in a blur of
betrayal
I was unable to
label until it was fatal

Our texts used to be
funny, Honey
Now they’re just about
money
and custody
while you’re all husbandly with her
It troubles me
sometimes inconsistantly
often constantly

Your old one was thinner
I mean, they have
all been teenier
I guess they are all prettier
I was too much, not enough. – inferior
I wish it helped to know that
healing—
healing isn’t linear

hate —
hate isn’t the opposite what we had

But,
it’s getting there.

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