Category: during
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It’s probably the weather
It’s probably the weather, or the fact that February is ending that makes me think of this time, 4 years ago. 4 years ago! That weekend I went away with friends to a cabin. Thank goodness we went away before covid, before my friend died. It was a cold Sunday at the end of February.…
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Adele
Sometime in the hazy, fuzzy time of mid-divorce, I played music on the Alexa I put in the kitchen. One morning you came down, and one of Adele’s new songs was playing. Remember? There was something about the music. I wonder. Was that our last hug? The one where Adele was singing and you were…
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accidental thoughts
One of the best humans I know said, “It would be okay and reasonable to miss his penis.” But I don’t think I domiss your penisI meanwhat’s there to miss? I did accidentally start thinking about you it happens sometimes,in my quiet commuteI’m driving and then BAM! I’m thinking about how you told me your…
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Are you Paying Attention?
There was a songthat came onevery time I was halfway home from visiting mydying friendin the summer of 2020 I was already crying but then The chicksSangcalm downyou know he’s about to leavebut don’t panicAnd I would sob as I pulled up to the stop signturning lefton a street I had lived on until I…
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The Past
I’ve been doing some reading, and I know. I know I’m not supposed to put my energy in the past. I need my energy for now and tomorrow and tomorrow’s tomorrow… But. I still have stuff to say. Like how a facebook memory of you annoyed on vacation makes me miss you. Like how I…
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Remember?
Remember when the kids were little and they went to bed, like at a bed time? Sometimes you’d sneak out to the video store and get us a movie, stop by Dairy Queen and get us a blizzard to share. By the time you got home, I was usually done settling everyone in, nursing the…
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Bracelets on my mind
As a kid, I made embroidery floss friendship bracelets, collected jelly bracelets, and bought sailor knot bracelets at the beach. Friendship bracelets wore down slowly, jelly bracelets grew exponentially, and sailor knot bracelets had to be cut off at the end of the summer. Marriage is like a bracelet. Hear me out. A couple years…
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What’s best for the kids
I guess I’m supposed to let it go. You betrayed all of us, had an intimate, year long affair with our children’s teacher, our daughter’s friend’s mom, our sons mentor’s wife. But you want to make sure I’m doing what’s best for the kids. I guess I need to shake it off. You used me…
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Thanksgiving Anger
Maybe I can just chill out, I think. I mean, love is love. You ended up not loving me. You broke my heart but that doesn’t make you a villain. But then I remember that pandemic Thanksgiving when the kids and I tried to make things special – normal. I cooked and the boys baked…
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3×3 Post-it note
I was cleaning out a drawer today and found a 3×3 post-it note I had written when I was so scared you were going to leave me. My heart broke when I wrote the words, and I stuck the note on the inside of my pen drawer. I don’t know about this shadow of heartbreak…
Slices of Betrayal 