Category: during
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Porch Coffee
It’s 2020 My friend died this June. Every morning, I drink my coffee on the porch and I look for her in the bunnies, birds, and rainbows. Gary* made the morning coffee, and I head outside. Usually porch coffee is my favorite time with Gary. Early in the morning, before everyone is awake, before remote […]
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A voicemail from July
Summer 2020 There’s a voicemail from July. I still have it on my phone. “It’s 8:06 PM. I stopped at Dunkin… so, it made me a little late. I’ll be home in about, I guess I’m about 4 minutes away-ish. Love you! See you soon! Bye.” My husband was super busy that summer. So when […]
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Leggings in my Laundry
I found Heather’s leggings in a basket of random laundry the other day. I remember when she brought them over to you in a little bag. Slipped the bag on the porch. You had started wearing leggings. (And short shorts and muscle shirts, and bright colors) You liked the way leggings hugged your legs, you […]
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Really real?
Sometimes things don’t feel like they could possibly be real. Did Heather really invite my husband over, promising him that their mutual friend, Kitty “loved him? Did he race over to drink wine with them?Did they transfer wine, mouth to mouth?Did Kitty confide that she really wanted to have sex with her ex-boyfriend one more […]
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Coffee Maker
I scroll through pictures you’ve texted me, hoping to find something that can spark writing about the betrayal. Instead, I find the other side of the betrayal. Betrayal doesn’t hurt just because it’s cruel and mean. It hurts because it comes from someone you love, someone you thought loved you. I keep finding pictures of […]
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The Ocean
1994ish I’ve always loved the ocean. One summer, I must have been 16, we had a family trip to the beach. Somehow I was allowed to drive about an hour to pick up my husband (then boyfriend) where his dad had dropped him off. I don’t remember what part of New Jersey that drive was. […]
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You can have your husband back soon.
During the spring, summer and fall of 2020, my husband was doing a lot of free work for Heather’s company. He was making videos for a fundraiser, helping to create remote performance opportunities for her classes, and just in general on zoom with her a lot. Daily. It wasn’t all work. Zoom striptease isn’t exactly […]
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Galentine’s Day
February 2020 February 2020 was the last time I thought I had a Valentine. That weekend, I traveled with friends to a conference in Atlantic City, laughing that my husband never really cared about Valentine’s Day, so I was okay missing it. When we got into the car to get on the road, my friend […]
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Heather’s Couch
Early, 2020 Heather wanted my boys to watch The Mandalorian at her place. We didn’t have Disney +, and she thought it would be fun to have the families get together. She invited her adult daughter too. We had snacks, and wine. Somehow I ended up sitting her couch at the back of the living […]
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My Couch
I need to tell you that I love my couch. It’s a huge sectional, deep red, covered with colorful blankets my mom crocheted. When we were dating, my husband drew a couch, we colored it – purple and red stripes. We dreamed of getting a couch just like it one day. We didn’t, but we […]
Slices of Betrayal 