February 2020.
It must have been February because it was before the world shut down. I parked in my kids’ school parking lot and listened to Tori Amos sing The Wrong Band again.

What was it about this song that reminded me of my life? I couldn’t quite figure it out.

I think it’s perfectly clear
We’re in the wrong band

I called my husband and said, “The Wrong Band is about Heather. Listen to these lyrics.”

Ginger is always sincere
Just not to one man…
…Heidi says she’ll be sincere
As much as she can
I called her up and I said
You know that I’m drowning

He listened and said “okay…” in a non-committal tone. But, I couldn’t shake the feeling. I didn’t even know the song was about prostitutes.

I didn’t know I passed the park they met at every time I drove to my kids’ school. Maybe he was with her when I called to tell him about the song from the parking lot. Maybe they were making out in her van down the block at the park. Maybe he played the song for her after my call, and they laughed at my instincts not being quite strong enough.

I was listening to the wrong part of the song. I should have played the end over and over.

She said it’s time I open my eyes
Don’t be afraid to open your eyes
Maybe she’s right
Maybe she’s right
Maybe she’s right
Maybe she’s right