Category: during
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I Need a Tissue, and Other Mysterious Codes
When we first fell in love, we used to have a code for “I love you.” You know, so our parents (okay, my parents) wouldn’t hear us (okay, me) on the phone professing love at age 14. “I need a tissue.” One of us would say and maybe the other would respond with, “That is…
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Impact
You’re movingAcross the country In the movie version of this story, I think I’d proclaim, “I may have lost my husband, but you lost your whole town!” But it’s real life and I don’t really care So, instead IlaughAt my own hilarious ideas because, laughter I think of singing you The Last Goodbye at a…
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A Rainbow Bra
When I was 16 I had a rainbow bra.It was Lacy. A lacy rainbow bra. Sounds tackyracymaybe it was. But it was also sexy and fun and I loved it. One day friends were over and I was getting changed. I was in my jeans and my lacy, racy rainbow bra. Gary walked up the…
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Fatherhood Red Flag
In November of 2020, Heather decided to get a divorce. Things just weren’t “working out in her marriage.” I didn’t know at the time that the long range plan was for Gary to leave me as well, so they could move in together, share a single brussel sprout for dinner, and have orgies, with no…
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Porch Coffee
It’s 2020 My friend died this June. Every morning, I drink my coffee on the porch and I look for her in the bunnies, birds, and rainbows. Gary* made the morning coffee, and I head outside. Usually porch coffee is my favorite time with Gary. Early in the morning, before everyone is awake, before remote…
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A voicemail from July
Summer 2020 There’s a voicemail from July. I still have it on my phone. “It’s 8:06 PM. I stopped at Dunkin… so, it made me a little late. I’ll be home in about, I guess I’m about 4 minutes away-ish. Love you! See you soon! Bye.” My husband was super busy that summer. So when…
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Leggings in my Laundry
I found Heather’s leggings in a basket of random laundry the other day. I remember when she brought them over to you in a little bag. Slipped the bag on the porch. You had started wearing leggings. (And short shorts and muscle shirts, and bright colors) You liked the way leggings hugged your legs, you…
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Really real?
Sometimes things don’t feel like they could possibly be real. Did Heather really invite my husband over, promising him that their mutual friend, Kitty “loved him? Did he race over to drink wine with them?Did they transfer wine, mouth to mouth?Did Kitty confide that she really wanted to have sex with her ex-boyfriend one more…
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Coffee Maker
I scroll through pictures you’ve texted me, hoping to find something that can spark writing about the betrayal. Instead, I find the other side of the betrayal. Betrayal doesn’t hurt just because it’s cruel and mean. It hurts because it comes from someone you love, someone you thought loved you. I keep finding pictures of…
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The Ocean
1994ish I’ve always loved the ocean. One summer, I must have been 16, we had a family trip to the beach. Somehow I was allowed to drive about an hour to pick up my husband (then boyfriend) where his dad had dropped him off. I don’t remember what part of New Jersey that drive was.…
Slices of Betrayal 